Friday, August 29, 2008

NW1 : The new world

I wanted to write about many weird things that I see and think , but was wondering about the best way to weave them all together.

To serve this purpose, in this article, and future ones, I shall refer to NW1 (New World 1) to my hypothetical New World. There are two basic rules that governs existence in NW1. I shall add more rules, if they are discovered to be fundamental in nature, otherwise, derivatives shall be documented as auxiliaries.

NW1 : Rule 0




NW2 : Rule 1 :Nothing is false

Rule of the thumb -

A dinosaur can see a frog eat an insect, and perceive it to be Angelina Jolie doing moon-walk with John F Kennedy. Both are equivalent, and equally true.

More on the terminology of NW1.


Origin :

When God made man, he first taught him how to do bubble sort. However, immediately after being created, man was very hungry , and did not listen to God explaining the sorting technique. God sensed that man's stomach was rumbling and placed before him the following articles, ordering him to choose one :

4)Hershey's chocolate
7)Lay's Chips

Man scratched his belly, and chose Lay's chips. God sighed,"You should'nt implement hash tables,without knowing which hash function you are using"


The origin of brand was laziness, but this is a well kept secret. The official, documented version is as follows :

" When God created man, he placed before him a set of seven nutritious items which would be beneficial to him in different ways : develop strength, improve intelligence, give pleasure, and reduce weight. Man decided to analyze the ratio of carbohydrates, proteins, iron, vitamin A,C , vitamin D, ,E in each of the items. After calculating the ratio, he made an estimate of the average use case of nutrition he would require (hunt, study, fight, talk). He then deduced that Lay's chips, with it's wonderful blend of nutrition, low-fat, no-carbs and wonderful taste would be the ideal article to help him live forever,meet the most beautiful women in the world, and create a sprawling empire across milky way galaxy "


Most common usage is in classifying the type of people one encounters in less than ten minutes.
In most cases, this turns out to be true ( NW1 :Rule 1)

Classification is binary -
(a) Mokkai
(b) Non-mokkai

Other chief use cases include

(i)Determining if a person "fits" a particular role , in a particular organization.
(ii)Determining. (Determining implies comparison, which in turn implies branding)



When God made Man, he had ten children. (There was no family planning in those days) . Man thought it would be wise to split up his house-hold chores, and gave each child a piece of paper, which outlined their broad responsibilities. However, his children being lazier and careless than him, kept losing the paper which described their roles, and started watching porn on the internet. Man, being sadistic, made his children sit inside a room for 22 years, and told them what he was seeing outside through the muddy,translucent glass window. His children got the message and never lost that paper again in their lifetime.


The official documented version is as follows :

"When God made man, man realized that God was a higher being, and obviously smarter. Man had to overcome the wild beasts of the jungle, and so started studying trigonometry, theory of relativity, quantum mechanics , and non-linear systems. God was impressed with man's effort, and gave a free ticket to heaven for the first five hundred people who could demonstrate some progress in each defined field. Such elevated group of people fell under the category "Educated", as opposed to "Uneducated"


Mostly used in un-armed combat. Educated people exhibit these peculiar traits :

(a) "Educated" people try to eliminate all the "Uneducated " people they can get hold of.
(b) "Educated" people try to eliminate "lesser" "Educated" people from their vicinity,and place of work
(c) "Educated" people have a tendency to get more "Educated"

Most zealous among them exhibit a zombie- like behaviour of a third-rate hollywood flick, in which the zombie goes about biting the necks of "normal " people, thereby converting them to zombies.

So much on the terminolgy. More on the actual stuff..soon to come!

Monday, August 18, 2008


Zimbabwe Olympic tally :

1 Gold
3 Silver

In wikiality,it definitely is amazing.

Though a country is an abstract idea, and all that an athelete needs to win are talent, perfect health, nutritious food, and sponsorship, and is not in anyway directly concerned with the functioning of the fools who rule their nation, I just couldnt help wondering at this..

Kirsty Coventry,a swimmer from Zimbabwe, a country which is under severe hyper-inflation and is an economic failure, shows the world she is competitive and gets a Gold.

And this being a white , on top,in Zimbabwe.

Indian mainstream press has not been highlighting this much I guess. Else it would be tough to justify why ibnlive and regularly publish indian olympics news "XYZ crashes out "

I am in no means saying that Zimbabwe is better than India in Olymics.. Both of them have relied on individal brilliance, and hence are on par.

Quantitatively, the result is less obvious.

When the hype around Abhinav subsides,Indian news channels,which complain about infrastructre et al, will have zillion answers on why Zimbabwe is ahead of India in the olympics medals table.

As of now, I havent seen any comparisons to that effect!

Monday, August 04, 2008

Some Random trivia

Yesterday, I happened to watch videos on youtube which showed how "inspired" music directors like Pritam and Harris Jayaraj have become from other music directors round the world.

Pritam has lifted tunes from South Korean and Chinese albums ( all the songs from Gangster are "inspired" from korean albums!).

Well.. for one,I have never been a keen follower of music from different countries (domain restricted completely on Rehman, Shankar Eshan Loy n Jayaraj)

But now I have more direction for my joblessness... Trace South Korean songs! :P
Or befriend someone from South Korea :P :P

As the wiki entry for Kpop (Korean pop) reveals, it is something bigtime famous,but I was completely oblivious that something like that even existed !!

Hrithik Roshan and Rajnikanth have done a movie together... search in youtube for the same :P

Another trivia .. bit more serious...a random article I read on the web states this..

The United States is one of only a few countries in the world that permit children to be sentenced to LWOP(Life Without Parole). The Convention on the Rights of the Child, ratified by every country in the world except the United States and Somalia, forbids this practice, and at least 132 countries have rejected the sentence altogether. Thirteen other countries have laws permitting the child LWOP sentence, but, outside of the United States, there are only about 12 young offenders currently serving life sentences with no possibility of parole